I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize