TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
