I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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