Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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