I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
