I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize