how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
