my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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