It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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