yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
