she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
