i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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