Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
