he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
