At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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