I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize