I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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