One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
