he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I looked at my own cervix.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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