I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
