This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
