I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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