when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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