Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
