I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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