he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Randomize
