You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
