Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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