she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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