You're completely useless in the revolution.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
