you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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