I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
