I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
