he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
