you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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