She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
