I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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