I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
one two three fourrrrnication!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
