just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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