How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
