so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
