Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
