So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
