It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
