areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
