You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
