would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
