hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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