Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
