no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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