where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Panties = found
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
