My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
