You made me cry and you don't even care
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
