im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
