so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
