no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
