how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
