Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
