Nicole vs. Life
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
