There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
