you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
