Well apparently he's into motor boating.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
