just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize