you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Randomize
