My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
