So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
