You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
