Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
