he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
