It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Randomize
